21 Thoughts I Have When I Go to Sephora

By: Gabbi Battiloro

I’m going to start this off by saying I have recently started to come around to Sephora, but, for a while there, I was overwhelmed every time I was forcibly pulled into the store. I was that awkward, anxious person that tried to keep to herself and would pet the face brushes on display while my friends essentially left their kidneys on deposit to buy all sorts of makeup. You may think I’m kidding, but for a low maintenance makeup gal like myself, Sephora was too much to handle. Below are some of the thoughts that have crossed my mind when venturing into the makeup black hole.

1. *Walking into Sephora* The F is all of this stuff?

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2. How does anyone find anything in here? There are too many options and colors. I can’t do this.

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3. Why are the workers staring at me? Do you sense my anxiety, or do you think I look shifty? I PROMISE I’M JUST ANXIOUS. I DON’T WANT TO STEAL THINGS. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I’D BE STEALING.

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4. Just wander around and look like you’re casually browsing the selections on display. Yeah, you can do that.

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5. Oh man, face brushes.*Checks the prices*

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6. Whoa, these are up there. They’re prob not even worth it, just some normal, average face brushes.

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7. *Picks up a brush* Oh wow, this one is soft. I should touch all the brushes… ya know, just to see if they’re all this soft.

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8. They’re so soft. This is the best part of Sephora. Okay, now that I’ve touched them all like a child in a store for the first time, maybe I can Sephora. Let’s try to walk away from the brushes.

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9. Wait, what are these egg looking things? They’re very colorful, so that’s nice. But, they look like the Easter Bunny dropped some in plastic containers.

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10. Hold on, what is the purpose of highlighter? Isn’t makeup used to cover up shine? Now, we’re supposed to add it? Idgi.

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11. It would be pretty dope though if they made a highlighter that looks like a regular highlighter, and then people can easily apply it without having to worry about accidentally applying too much.

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12. Genius, just genius. I should just stop working and invent s*&^ on the daily. I’d be so rich rn.

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13. UGH, the anxiety is back. Can we go already!?

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14. I’m so that boyfriend that got dragged into a store by his girlfriend and is just unamused and overwhelmed by everything in here.

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15. I feel for all boyfriends everywhere rn.

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16. How long does it take to pick an eyeliner? Friend, you wanted black eyeliner. Just get the dang eyeliner and move on.

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17. Oh, they are talking to an employee about something other than eyeliner. Cool.

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18. I’m never leaving here. I’ll be trapped forever. At least I’ll have the face brushes.

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19. Finally, getting on line to pay. THANK GOD.

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20. She’s moving. She’s moving. AH, at the register!

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21. *Friend walks up to me with three bags and $250 dollars gone* Oh, this is just like Target, but for makeup. Got it.

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